We all want to be recognized for making the 'right' choices. Judgment, integrity, and courage are important in our decision-making, but being right is the goal. We want others to know when we reach it. The trouble is: most of the people we know are too preoccupied with hoping they will be recognized for making their own right choices to tell us how they feel about ours.
How to break the cycle? Try patience and forgiveness and kindness. Try setting aside being right. Ignore the goal. Recognize the desire and struggle that went into making a choice. Tell them, "I know that must have been one of the toughest decisions you ever made." And mean it.
One of my favorite people wrote:
I was misunderstood growing up and have often been misunderstood since, but then so is everyone else. People are busy, and you can't expect them to drop everything and try to understand you. If you want to be understood, practice kindness and mercy. Kindness is seldom mistaken for anything else. Small kindnesses reverberate a long time in people's hearts.